Cremation Service FAQ's

Frequently Asked Questions - Cremation

What is a Funeral Service?
The words "Funeral Service" today mean many types of end-of-life services. So when you see the word "funeral" or "funeral service" in our website, it refers to any type of end-of-life service including the traditional service, memorial service, celebration-of-life service, with personalized service options and more.
What is a Cremation?
Cremation isn’t a funeral service type. It’s a choice made by a family to use the cremation process, described in our page The Cremation Process, to dispose of their loved one in the form of burnt ashes. After the cremation process is completed, there is often a memorial service or celebration-of-life service to honor the memory of their loved one. Afterwards the ashes are often scattered at a location of the family’s choice, or kept in an urn at a family member’s residence, or placed in a mausoleum and a columbarium as explained further down in these FAQs. Something what has become very popular today is that many families like to have a small amount of their loved one’s ashes placed inside well designed and tasteful keepsake jewelry. See our Personalized Service Options for examples of ideas about how to personalize a service when cremation is chosen.
How do I plan a funeral service when Cremation is chosen?
We have a page answering this question. Click here How to plan a service when cremation is chosen. Services can be a traditional service with a cremation casket or urn present, or in the form of a memorial service, celebration-of-life service, with personalized options. After all, you've got a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to show the world how much your loved one meant to you, and planning the appropriate service is important for the healing process and sharing the experience with family and friends.
Why is having a funeral ceremony important?
Funeral ceremonies make a significant difference in how families channel their grief toward health and healing. It helps you and your family to focus your thoughts and feelings on something positive. During the funeral, the community comes together and responds to the reality that someone has died, and also to the reality that those remaining will need support, compassion, love, hope, and understanding. The funeral encourages you to think about the person who has died and to explore the meaning of their life and the ways in which they touched the lives of others.
Is it important to view the deceased in the cremation casket?
Sometimes we need to see in order to truly comprehend. It's a way of confirming the fact that, indeed, this individual has died; but it's also an opportunity to say your "good-byes". You may find it a comforting time where you can quietly share a loving memory, in some cases let go of any anger or resentment, and otherwise come to terms with their death.
Can I have a visitation period and a funeral service if cremation is chosen?
Yes. Cremation does not preclude having a visitation period and a funeral service. Cremation is simply one option for final disposition of the body. Many families tell us a service helps to say goodbye, even when their loved one is cremated. A meaningful service, either a memorial or celebration of life service, is for the living; the family and friends emotionally impacted by the death, and to honor the deceased. Family and friends benefit from compassionate attention a service provides.
If I choose cremation does my loved one have to be embalmed?
If you want to have a viewing or visitation, then the answer is yes. If you choose the direct disposal option then the answer is no. Embalming is how the funeral home preserves the deceased to be viewed by the family. Embalming allows for time to elapse before burial, or cremation if there is to be a viewing, giving family and friends time to prepare and gather for the funeral. Professional embalming, and in come cases cosmetic reconstruction, ensures the family and those in attendance best experience the funeral ceremony. If you're planning for an open casket visitation and/or service, we require embalming. We do not require embalming for a cremation if there is not a viewing.
Can I be present at the crematory when my loved on is cremated?
A witnessed cremation is not common, but it’s offered by many crematories and allows for a chosen few closest to your loved one to be with their body as it enters the cremator. This allows for final goodbyes, and for some peace of mind as they watch their loved one throughout the cremation process. You may stay for the cremation or leave to return when the cremated remains have been processed and placed in a container. A witnessed cremation must be specifically requested and scheduled with the crematory in advance.
Are people dressed when they are cremated?
Usually yes. Most often the deceased is dressed in the clothing they’ve selected prior to their death, or clothing chosen by the family. Is there a special set of clothes (such as a military uniform or favorite dress) your loved one would appreciate the thought of wearing?
Can we have special items included with the cremation process?
Many families will place notes, children's drawings, or other personal messages of love. Some families have placed a cherished pet's collar or a treasured keepsake. This subject is very special and can promote healing in the grieving process. We encourage you to give the idea some thoughtful attention. We think you’ll be glad you did.
What should I do with my loved one’s ashes?
Though many people want their ashes to be scattered in a personally meaningful place, often over land or water, some families choose to keep ashes at home in an urn or in addition some of the ashes kept in uniquely designed keepsake jewelry. We have a large selection of urns and keepsake jewelry to choose from. Some families find that a designated place in a cemetery is a lasting alternative to help bring healing and lasting remembrance. Cremation cemetery options include in-ground urn burial, mausoleum entombment, cremation niches, cremation benches and pedestals, columbaria and scattering gardens. The options are really limitless.
What is the difference between a mausoleum and a columbarium?
A mausoleum is a freestanding building on the grounds of a local cemetery that is intended as both a monument as well as the burial location for casketed individuals. A columbarium is the same in purpose, but not in design; instead of crypt spaces large enough for a full-size casket; it features smaller niche spaces for cremation urns.
How can I be assured I’m getting my loved one’s ashes back?
Chain of custody refers to the chronological documentation of the custody, control, transfer, analysis, and disposition of the ashes. Every step of the process is documented, from receiving the deceased to the ultimate disposition of the ashes returned to the family.
Should I invite people to a funeral?
A person's role at a funeral is two-fold: one, they are there to demonstrate support for the grieving family. Second, funeral guests are there to express their sorrow; to begin to come to terms, in the safety of a shared collective experience, with the death of someone they held dear. While it's not common to send out invitations to a funeral (generally, the service details are published in the newspaper or online, and those who wish to attend, do); it makes sense to reach out to certain family members and individuals by phone, email, or social media to ensure they are aware of the service date/time (and express your desire for their presence). When considering who you want to reach out to, invite those people who mattered most to your loved one and who would be important for you to have present.
Should I send flowers or a plant?
Flowers and plants create a background of warmth and beauty that adds to the dignity and consolation of the funeral service. Flowers and plants at a funeral or other end-of-life ceremony serve many valuable purposes including a means of a visual expression of sympathy, love and respect or a means of lending support. Sometimes a family will request that a donation be made to a charity special to the family in-lieu of sending flowers or a plant. Sending flowers or a plant is not a requirement and should only be done to the extent of your desire and financial circumstances.
Should we request memorial donations instead of flowers?
There are really two things to consider; what are your wishes and what do you think your loved one would have wanted. We advise families to offer their community as many options as possible; some will send flowers, some will send donations; and some will even do both. Your preferences will be included in the obituary and people will learn of your wishes there.
Can we arrange for music?
Music is a big part of a personalized service. You can tell us the songs you want played during the service, or a singer you want to sing your favorite songs, or even a band to play your favorite songs and perhaps have the singer or band invite those in attendance to sing along.
If I provide you with images can you get them scanned or enlarged for display, and can we also have a DVD played at the visitation and service?
One of the most impactful things you can do to bless your family and friends is to provide with them visual reminders of your loved one. We regularly prepare DVD’s that include your own videos or scanned pictures, then show that DVD on our large screen TVs in the chapel and visitation. In addition you can choose music you want to play in the DVD. There are no time constraints on the length of the DVD, number of pictures or videos or songs. Those in attendance seeing photos and or watching the DVD always comment to the family what a positive impact it had on their healing and saying good-bye. We’ve had many occasions where a family will want to give DVDs to another family member or friend, and we provide extra copies for that purpose.
Can I bring special things to display at the service?
Absolutely. We can coordinate with you to deliver and set up any special decorations or props you can think of. Some people have brought works of art their loved one made, mementos of awards, musical instruments, even sports gear or a saddle that represents the uniqueness of their life.
How can I best prepare my children to attend a funeral?
When asked this question, we like to tell people it's best done with honesty and awareness. Help explain the funeral to them - Tell children what will happen before, during and after the ceremony. If the deceased will be viewed either at a visitation or at the funeral itself, let the child know this in advance. Also help children anticipate that they will see people expressing a wide variety of emotions at the funeral. They will see tears, straight faces and sometimes laughter; tell them there will be time for some people to stand up and talk about how much they loved the person (but they won't be required to do so). Reassure them you'll be right next to them throughout the experience. Never force them to go to a funeral, and always give them the opportunity to change their mind about attending.
Should I wear black to the funeral?
Black used to be the only color to wear to a funeral; but not anymore. Today things are less formal than they once were, and it's not uncommon for families to ask prospective guests to come in casual clothing. Should you have additional questions about funeral attire or etiquette, (insert link to etiquette) please contact us.
What are Cash Advances?
Some of the things we'll discuss when we meet involve purchases made from third parties. These purchases are called "cash advances". These are costs we advance on your behalf and at your sole discretion. The most common cash advances are for the purchase of a burial plot, a headstone or grave marker, fee charged by a newspaper to print the obituary, clergy or musician's fees, floral arrangements, reception necessities, such as food/beverage or facility rental. We'll provide you with a detailed invoice for all cash advance items you choose.
Should I wear black to the funeral?
Black used to be the only color to wear to a funeral; but not anymore. Today things are less formal than they once were, and it's not uncommon for families to ask prospective guests to come in casual clothing. Should you have additional questions about funeral attire or etiquette, (insert link to etiquette) please contact us.
When do I pay for funeral services?
A good rule of thumb is to expect to pay at the time the service arrangements are made, or soon afterwards and before the service. It's common that there may be a life insurance or burial insurance policy, or a "pre-plan" contract in which the deceased has pre arranged or prepaid for their funeral, in which case any amount due is in whole or part offset by those proceeds. At the time of arrangements we can take an assignment against the policy and will receive payment at a future time when the policy is paid. You will only be responsible for the remaining balance if any.
What items do I bring to the funeral home?
When we first speak, we understand this first conversation may feel overwhelming to you. That’s completely natural. This may be a moment to take a deep breath and be assured we’ll walk you through each step in the process and piece of needed information. You won’t be going through this experience alone. When we speak we'll discuss the things you'll need to bring when we meet in person, and the things we'll collect from you during the days ahead. Those things will include information required to complete your loved one's death certificate, write the obituary, prepare newspaper notices, filing insurance, social security or veterans benefits, and plan every detail of the funeral. You may also wish to bring in a collection of family photographs to be used in making a tribute video or in the decoration of the service location. But remember, not all these things will be necessary when we first meet, and we'll help you to gather whatever additional information is needed.
What is a celebrant? And how can he or she help?
A celebrant is a person who has been trained to conduct formal ceremonies, such as weddings, baptisms and funerals. They are not clergy. A celebrant works closely with you to create a ceremony that reflects the beliefs, cultural background, values and aspirations of your loved one and your family. Sometimes a family member is chosen to speak during the service. If it's your desire that a family member speak, we can provide some helpful direction to assist them in planning. Click here for more information on How to Write a Eulogy
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