What to Wear to a Funeral

What to Wear to a Funeral

Dressing for a funeral is not as easy as it seems. The term "funeral" itself can be vague, and you may not want to dress the dead like a "funny" Halloween character. That's because today's funeral attire has evolved into the most elegant of fashions. When a friend or relative is in attendance for a funeral, there are some things to remember to make sure you're dressing for a funeral is as appropriate as possible.


It's not uncommon for family members to dress nicer than usual at a funeral. This often depends on whether the body is being viewed by many people or just one person. If the body is being viewed by many, it's expected that the family will dress more formally. Funeral etiquette for family members reading a eulogy is to wear clothing that is sensible and conservative, such as a business suit with a necktie. If you are attending as a guest, you are not expected to dress like a "Hollywood star".


It's also important to remember that just because you're a guest in funerals doesn't mean that your clothing will make no difference. You still shouldn't wear low cut shirts, corsets, pants that are too tight around the midsection, or something that show too much skin.

Dressing Properly for a Funeral is not Everything

Funeral clothing can be either very formal or casual. Despite your importance, you should still follow follow proper funeral etiquette and be respectful. Remember to address the deceased by his or her last name, use the proper etiquette when speaking to members of the immediate family (including children), and avoid using any inappropriate humor.


If there’s one piece of advice that can be taken away from this blog post about what to wear to a funeral, it’s this: be sensitive to the families preferences and respect their wishes when it comes to planning your outfit. Below we have provided some do’s and don’ts and tips for dressing for a funeral and how they differ when it comes to dressing for a celebration of life or memorial service, or visitation.

Learn More About Funeral Etiquette

Funeral Do's and Don'ts

 

  • Do: Respect the families wishes on what they decide is appropriate for the arrangements they have planned for their loved one. 
  • Don’t: Assume you would know what the deceased would want in spite of what the family is requesting.
  • Do: Ask and clarify with the family, funeral director, or someone else that is close to the family if you have any questions. You may have a piece of clothing that reminds you of a special time you and the deceased had together and would prefer to wear that despite the family’s requests; reach out and explain to them what you want to wear and why. 
  • Don’t: Spend a lot of time and money looking for the ‘perfect’ outfit. Chances are you are not alone in feeling anxious about what to wear; again, reach out to someone who can assess what the family is requesting if they haven’t already said.
  • Do: Pick something comfortable, yet appropriate. Now is not the time to try out the shoes you have never worn before. You will most likely be alternating between standing and sitting and standing for long periods of time. The purpose of the service is to remember the life of the deceased which will be hard to do and distracting to others if you have to do it in bare feet.
  • Don’t: Forget the season, weather, or location. This ties into ‘picking something comfortable’ but it is important to account for the elements when planning what to wear. Again, the service is meant to respect the deceased and it can be distracting if you are uncomfortable. 



Basic Tips on How to Dress for a Funeral

 

  • Dress Like You’re Going to Church: When in doubt, it’s better to lean to the conservative side. The rule of thumb is to dress like you’re going to church (which you just might be) or like you’re going into a job interview. This applies for memorials or celebrations of life as well, despite the dress-code may be more casual for those types of services, conservative is still a safe bet. 
  • Avoid Too Much Jewelry: Simple necklaces, bracelets, rings, cufflinks or tie clips are okay but it’s better to avoid the bright, statement pieces that will take the attention and focus away from the deceased. This rule applies similarly to a memorial or celebration of life as well. 
  • Keep it Neutral: Traditional funeral wear does not automatically mean black everything, there is some versatility when it comes to classic funeral attire. Darker neutrals like plum, forest green, navy blue, and a range of greys are also appropriate. Muted print can also be acceptable. This allows some of your personal style to come to life without disrespecting the traditional values of the family. 
  • Stick with the Theme: This tip is more specifically aimed towards memorial services or celebrations of life as the family may request people wear what the deceased had a passion for. For example, the deceased could have been a big fan of a specific sports league or team, prompting the family to request attendees wear their favorite sports team gear. While accepting the families wishes it’s important to still be respectful and not go overboard with the theme. That is, wearing a t-shirt or jersey is okay, wearing an entire football uniform would not be. 



Take a look at this heart warming story by the Huffington Post of a person honoring a promise to his best friend at his funeral. Linked here: https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/barry-delaney-funeral_n_5824658?ri18n=true

We hope this guide has helped provide some insight and answer some questions or concerns about what to wear to an end-of-life service. If you have any further inquiries please feel free to reach out to us, we are always here to help. 
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