Traditional Service FAQ's

Frequently Asked Questions - Traditional

What is a Funeral Service?
The words "Funeral Service" today mean many types of end-of-life services. So when you see the word "funeral" or "funeral service" in our website, it refers to any type of end-of-life service including the traditional service, memorial service, celebrations-of-life service, personalized service options, and more.
How does a traditional service differ from a memorial service?
A traditional service is more formally structured, clergy-led funeral service (often with three component parts: the visitation, funeral and a graveside service held at the cemetery). A memorial service can be either formal or contemporary like the "celebration of life" service. In either case, a memorial service can be held at any time in the future that best meets your family's schedule and travel plans, and can be at any place you choose.
How do I plan a Traditional Service?
We have a page answering this question. Click here: How to plan a Traditional Service. Traditional services can be held with a casket or urn present, or in the form of a celebration-of-life service, with personalized options. After all, you've got a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to show the world how much your loved one meant to you, and planning the appropriate service is important for the healing process and sharing the experience with family and friends. See our Personalized Service Options for examples of ideas about how to personalize a traditional service.
Why is having a funeral ceremony important?
Funeral ceremonies make a significant difference in how families channel their grief toward health and healing. It helps you and your family to focus your thoughts and feelings on something positive. During the funeral, the community comes together and responds to the reality that someone has died, and also to the reality that those remaining will need support, compassion, love, hope, and understanding. The funeral encourages you to think about the person who has died and to explore the meaning of their life and the ways in which they touched the lives of others.
Is it important to view the deceased in the casket?
Sometimes we need to see in order to truly comprehend. It's a way of confirming the fact that, indeed, this individual has passed on; but it's also an opportunity to say your "good-byes". You may find it a comforting time where you can quietly share a loving memory, in some cases, let go of any anger or resentment, and otherwise come to terms with their death.
What is a burial vault, and why should I buy one?
A burial vault is an outside enclosure specifically designed to protect the casket in the grave. Many cemeteries require only a basic container that helps maintain the look of the cemetery grounds, but these containers are not designed for the preservation of the casket. In contrast, the protective vault is specifically designed to help resist the entrance of water and earth matter, and withstand the weight of the earth and heavy machinery used by the cemetery when maintaining the cemetery grounds. We can help you choose a protective vault that meets your desires and is affordable.
What is a cemetery burial?
A cemetery burial follows the funeral service and is simply the internment of your loved one's casket at a cemetery of your choice. It involves your selection of a burial location, "burial plot", and the proper placement of the casket in a burial vault.
Should I buy a headstone or grave marker?
After the burial, we will put a temporary identification marker on your loved one's grave, but it is only intended as a placeholder until a permanent headstone or grave marker is set in place. Without a headstone or permanent grave marker, when this temporary marker becomes illegible or somehow removed, your loved one's burial site will appear "unmarked".
Where do I purchase a headstone or grave marker?
The cemetery you choose will provide you with a selection of headstones and permanent grave markers. Headstones and permanent grave makers come in an assortment of colors and materials with the option for personalized engraving with the words of your choice. When you are ready to order a headstone or permanent grave marker, we will assist you in speaking with the cemetery and making a selection that meets your desires.
What is a graveside service?
A graveside service in commonly held with any type of funeral service. However, in some cases rather than having a service in a church or funeral home chapel, and then adjourning to the cemetery for the burial, some families choose to gather solely at the cemetery. There is usually a ceremony led by a clergy or other person chosen by you to memorialize the deceased and witness the burial.
Should I invite people to a funeral?
A person's role at a funeral is two-fold: one, they are there to demonstrate support for the grieving family. Second, funeral guests are there to express their sorrow; to begin to come to terms, in the safety of a shared collective experience, with the death of someone they held dear. While it's not common to send out invitations to a funeral (generally, the service details are published in the newspaper or online, and those who wish to attend, do); it makes sense to reach out to certain family members and individuals by phone, email, or social media to ensure they are aware of the service date/time (and express your desire for their presence). When considering who you want to reach out to, invite those people who mattered most to your loved one and who would be important for you to have present.
Should I send flowers or a plant?
Flowers and plants create a background of warmth and beauty that adds to the dignity and consolation of the funeral service. Flowers and plants at a funeral or other end-of-life ceremony serve many valuable purposes, including a means of a visual expression of sympathy, love and respect or a means of lending support. Sometimes, a family will request that a donation be made to a charity special to the family in-lieu of sending flowers or a plant. Sending flowers or a plant is not a requirement and should only be done to the extent of your desire and financial circumstances.
Should we request memorial donations instead of flowers?
There are really two things to consider; what are your wishes and what do you think your loved one would have wanted? We advise families to offer their community as many options as possible; some will send flowers, some will send donations; and some will even do both. Your preferences will be included in the obituary and people will learn of your wishes there.
Can we arrange for music?
Oh, yes. Music is a big part of a personalized service. You can tell us the songs you want played during the service, or a singer you want to sing your favorite songs, or even a band to play your favorite songs and perhaps have the singer or band invite those in attendance to sing along.
If I provide you with photos, can you get them scanned or enlarged for display, and can we also have a DVD played at the visitation and service?
One of the most impactful things you can do to bless your family and friends is to provide with them visual reminders of your loved one. We regularly prepare DVD’s that include your own videos or scanned pictures, then show that DVD on our large screen TVs in our chapel. In addition, you can choose music you want to play in the DVD. Those in attendance seeing photos and or watching the DVD always comment to the family what a positive impact it had on their healing and saying good-bye. We’ve had many occasions where a family will want to give DVDs to another family member or friend, and we provide extra copies for that purpose.
Can I bring special things to display at the service?
Absolutely. We can coordinate with you to deliver and set up any special decorations or props you can think of. Some people have brought works of art their loved one made, mementos of awards, musical instruments, even sports gear or a saddle that represents the uniqueness of their life.
How can I best prepare my children to attend a funeral?
When asked this question, we like to tell people it's best done with honesty and awareness. Help explain the funeral to them - Tell children what will happen before, during and after the ceremony. If the deceased will be viewed either at a visitation or at the funeral itself, let the child know this in advance. Also, help children anticipate that they will see people expressing a wide variety of emotions at the funeral. They will see tears, straight faces and sometimes laughter; tell them there will be time for some people to stand up and talk about how much they loved the person (but they won't be required to do so). Reassure them you'll be right next to them throughout the experience. Never force them to go to a funeral, and always give them the opportunity to change their mind about attending.
Should I wear black to the funeral?
Black used to be the only color to wear to a funeral; but not anymore. Today things are less formal than they once were, and it's not uncommon for families to ask prospective guests to come in casual clothing. Should you have additional questions about funeral attire or etiquette, click here or please contact us.
Does my loved one need to be embalmed prior to burial?
Embalming is how the funeral home preserves the deceased to be viewed by the family. Embalming allows for time to elapse before burial, or cremation if there is to be a viewing, giving family and friends time to prepare and gather for the funeral. Professional embalming, and in some cases cosmetic reconstruction, ensures the family and those in attendance best experience the funeral ceremony. If you're planning for an open casket visitation and/or service, we require embalming. We do not require embalming for a cremation if there is not a viewing.
What are Cash Advances?
Some of the things we'll discuss when we meet involve purchases made from third parties. These purchases are called "cash advances". These are costs we advance on your behalf and at your sole discretion. The most common cash advances are for the purchase of a burial plot, a headstone or grave marker, fee charged by a newspaper to print the obituary, clergy or musician's fees, floral arrangements, reception necessities, such as food/beverage or facility rental. We'll provide you with a detailed invoice for all cash advance items you choose.
When do I pay for the Funeral Service?
A good rule of thumb is to expect to pay at the time the service arrangements are made, or soon afterwards and before the service. It's common that there may be a life insurance or burial insurance policy, or a "pre-plan" contract in which the deceased has prearranged or prepaid for their funeral, in which case any amount due is in whole or part offset by those proceeds. At the time of arrangements, we can take an assignment against the policy and will receive payment at a future time when the policy is paid. You will only be responsible for the remaining balance if any.
What items do I bring to the funeral home?
When we first speak, we understand this first conversation may feel overwhelming to you. That’s completely natural. This may be a moment to take a deep breath and be assured we’ll walk you through each step in the process and piece of needed information. You won’t be going through this experience alone. When we speak, we'll discuss the things you'll need to bring when we meet in person, and the things we'll collect from you during the days ahead. Those things will include information required to complete your loved one's death certificate, write the obituary, prepare newspaper notices, filing insurance, social security or veterans benefits, and plan every detail of the funeral. You may also wish to bring in a collection of family photographs to be used in making a tribute video or in the decoration of the service location. But remember, not all these things will be necessary when we first meet, and we'll help you to gather whatever additional information is needed.
What is a celebrant? And how can he or she help?
A celebrant is a person who has been trained to conduct formal ceremonies, such as weddings, baptisms and funerals. They are not clergy. A celebrant works closely with you to create a ceremony that reflects the beliefs, cultural background, values and aspirations of your loved one and your family. Sometimes a family member is chosen to speak during the service. If it's your desire that a family member speak, we can provide some helpful direction to assist them in planning. Click here for more information on How to Write a Eulogy
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